The Power of Selfishness

A little while back I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who was practically begging me for help. Then, just about in the same sentence, told me that my advice was horrible! Since I always say "Do what is best for you and no one else". This is true; I do say that to many people who come to me with external problems that were brought upon by themselves.

"You cannot expect anyone to come by on a white horse, sweep you off your feet and solve all of your problems for you!"
-me

This may come off a bit harsh and you should know by now that there are many circumstances in your life that are completely out of your control. However, it is your responsibility to deal with those problems properly. Your reactions are critical in dealing with the unexpected speed bumps that are in your life. But I digress.... I am straying off topic.


Remember when you were a teenager and your buddies got their hands on a bottle of booze? You are nervous because you know your not supposed to drink and they are all egging you on to take just a little sip. Next thing you know you’re puking your brains out and your parents are not very happy with you. You knew you shouldn't have done it! You knew you were going to be grounded for a week once they caught you! You did it anyway. You wanted to fit in. This is where selfishness comes into play. I'm not talking about stealing lollypops from babies or anything, I am talking about positive selfishness. Once you have mastered the art of how to be selfish in the right ways you can accomplish many things.


You need to learn what is best for you and your situation. If you don't know what is best for you by now, you probably shouldn't be reading this. This is such an essential part of life that you cannot ignore it. Your life, sanity, self-respect, personal image and goals depend on it.


Learn to step back from a situation and determine what is best for you. Sacrifices will have to be made from time to time but your values need to firm. We as people continue to get stuck in these traps because we want usually want something out of these situations that we stick ourselves in. See where negative selfishness comes in here?


You may want to fit in so you are going to follow the pack and do something stupid, off the cuff or just not anything that you are really into. You may not want to let someone down, so you go out to the bar the night before a big meeting at work. You may want to fill an empty hole that is in your own life so you meet some random guy/girl out at night sleep with them so you can remind yourself that you are still desirable. You may think it’s too late to change your mind.


You need to take a few steps back in these situations and not let yourself get caught up in the riptide. Being selfish is not always about greed. It's not about the brat of the group who always says "if we are not going to this place, I'm not coming". This is not about taking things to far where you turn people off. It's all about making sure you are taking care of you first. Once you learn how to master the art of positive selfishness, people will observe you differently. They will see you more as a leader than a follower. They will know you are not one who just goes with the crowd. They will see you as an individual.


No one out there is going to carry the torch for you. That is your job. You carry your own torch and if you carry it high enough, people will notice.


Hold your head up high. Stay positive. Stay determined. Stay focused. Prosper.