Life is bound to throw you curveballs from time to time and sometimes these repeated beat downs of bad luck can really discourage you from accomplishing more. For instance, let me tell you a story of one of the most challenging times in my own life that I needed to overcome.
When I was 22 years old, I lived in Chicago, had a great job, lived the high life and really didn't have much of a care in the world. One night I went out to a party and ended up getting out of my cab early to walk the remainder of my journey home. When walking home, less than a block away from my apartment and in a very good neighborhood, I had a gun put to my head.
This man took my wallet, jacket, cell phone, pager and all the money in my pocket (a whole 3 dollars). During this experience, after he took all my possessions, he wanted for me to go behind a building out of site from anyone who may possibly be able to see this and stop it. I decided that he was most likely going to have me kiss the ground, count to one hundred and possibly put a bullet in me. I decided to not go behind the building and would not follow him or comply any further. This decision resulted in some firm consequences. He then hit me with the head of the gun squarely, right between my eyebrows and blood started to trickle down my face as my skin broke and my skull cracked then caved in slightly. I stumbled for a brief moment (it could have been hours), realized that I was still alive and standing. Looked at the man with the gun still staring at me and I ran.
After this experience, I was a different person. I couldn't trust or really talk to anyone. I had difficulty leaving my apartment and when I did, I always looked behind me every five steps. The wounds on my face healed but I felt broken. I suffered from anxiety, stress and could barely sleep. My spirit had suffered a major setback and even today I still have to keep my thoughts of the experience from corrupting the rest of me.
We can be conditioned from these types of events to live life with more caution and eventually throw ourselves out from the experience, wonder and adventure that life truly is all about.
You need to understand one basic fundamental in order to beat adversity and strife. Life goes on. Such a simple statement but yet such a hard concept to grasp. People have so many expectations, predictions and ideals that disillusion that one sentence. Now think about this one. No matter what happens to you or anyone else in life it still goes on! The key is learning how to deal with it.
For me, it took learning on how to trust people again; especially strangers after this incident took place in my life. For you, it could be anything. If you lose your job and your family is going to have some very hard times ahead. You need to make sure your own value isn't degraded when you are struggling to find a new job while scraping loose change together to eat. How do you overcome something when you know you must take a lesser job that you are qualified for to make sure your family can move on? Do you continue to look for new work?
Abolishing Fear:
For me, it took me a long time for me to think that every next second may not be my last. I had to reprogram my brain again to conclude that hey, if I were to actually die today, that my life wasn't a waste. That I have helped people or at least done my best to do so. That when people look back on me that they can say "He was a good man". I want my life to have value. I want my life to be worthwhile for others. I want to be a great father. I want to teach others how to be a great person as well. I live for these things. I live to make my life and anyone who is around me better, manageable and not overwhelming. At the end of the day I want people to know this and when I pass on I hopefully can look down upon the ones that I have helped and smile.
The worth in my own life makes me push on and try to succeed for more and not to fear these things that are completely out of my control. Life goes on when you continue to fear the worst and life goes on when you fear the least. How do you want to live?
If you are in the group where you have lost your job, your family is in danger of losing their home and you need to find "something" to get by and at least be able to feed them all. You know for your skills and what your salary requirements, it will take longer than you can possibly afford. You know that you are going to have to take on some new "quick work" in order to keep your family safe and fed. You have no idea you will make it through the rest of it. You need to find yourself whatever is going to suffice for now. Get yourself that low paying job at McDonalds if you have to. Get yourself something so you have some income. I know it’s not going to be fun but this is where you start.
You need to learn to ask for help. Your family and your friends can help you look for jobs. I have friends who are always sending me ads from Monster.com or something that would be right up my alley. Create a group of people who are willing to help YOU in a time of need as you would do for them. If you need to take on two to three jobs to keep your head above water you are probably not going to have time to do it all by yourself.
Now here is where the fear kicks in. You find a somewhat O.K. job out there but its still not what you want to do or what you were doing in your last job that let you go. Do you take the risk and go out and get the better paying job or the one with a little more risk involved if that’s what you really want to do? DAMN RIGHT YOU DO! Don't fear the "what if's". You need for your life to meet your needs. If you don't you are going to be that 22 year old kid who kept looking behind him every five steps waiting for someone to whack him.
Look, I am not telling you to take stupid risks here by throwing yourself into harms way purposely! But risk is a critical and essential part of life. Going the safe route isn't what you really want to do and you don't want to look back in 20 years with a "What If" or a "I wish I tried.....” Make life gratifying for you and you alone and you know you can make it gratifying for others.
So pull up your bootstraps, find your value and make this life yours to live!
When I was 22 years old, I lived in Chicago, had a great job, lived the high life and really didn't have much of a care in the world. One night I went out to a party and ended up getting out of my cab early to walk the remainder of my journey home. When walking home, less than a block away from my apartment and in a very good neighborhood, I had a gun put to my head.
This man took my wallet, jacket, cell phone, pager and all the money in my pocket (a whole 3 dollars). During this experience, after he took all my possessions, he wanted for me to go behind a building out of site from anyone who may possibly be able to see this and stop it. I decided that he was most likely going to have me kiss the ground, count to one hundred and possibly put a bullet in me. I decided to not go behind the building and would not follow him or comply any further. This decision resulted in some firm consequences. He then hit me with the head of the gun squarely, right between my eyebrows and blood started to trickle down my face as my skin broke and my skull cracked then caved in slightly. I stumbled for a brief moment (it could have been hours), realized that I was still alive and standing. Looked at the man with the gun still staring at me and I ran.
After this experience, I was a different person. I couldn't trust or really talk to anyone. I had difficulty leaving my apartment and when I did, I always looked behind me every five steps. The wounds on my face healed but I felt broken. I suffered from anxiety, stress and could barely sleep. My spirit had suffered a major setback and even today I still have to keep my thoughts of the experience from corrupting the rest of me.
We can be conditioned from these types of events to live life with more caution and eventually throw ourselves out from the experience, wonder and adventure that life truly is all about.
You need to understand one basic fundamental in order to beat adversity and strife. Life goes on. Such a simple statement but yet such a hard concept to grasp. People have so many expectations, predictions and ideals that disillusion that one sentence. Now think about this one. No matter what happens to you or anyone else in life it still goes on! The key is learning how to deal with it.
For me, it took learning on how to trust people again; especially strangers after this incident took place in my life. For you, it could be anything. If you lose your job and your family is going to have some very hard times ahead. You need to make sure your own value isn't degraded when you are struggling to find a new job while scraping loose change together to eat. How do you overcome something when you know you must take a lesser job that you are qualified for to make sure your family can move on? Do you continue to look for new work?
Abolishing Fear:
Fear and worry can be such a dominating force in our life that it hooks us into inaction.
For me, it took me a long time for me to think that every next second may not be my last. I had to reprogram my brain again to conclude that hey, if I were to actually die today, that my life wasn't a waste. That I have helped people or at least done my best to do so. That when people look back on me that they can say "He was a good man". I want my life to have value. I want my life to be worthwhile for others. I want to be a great father. I want to teach others how to be a great person as well. I live for these things. I live to make my life and anyone who is around me better, manageable and not overwhelming. At the end of the day I want people to know this and when I pass on I hopefully can look down upon the ones that I have helped and smile.
The worth in my own life makes me push on and try to succeed for more and not to fear these things that are completely out of my control. Life goes on when you continue to fear the worst and life goes on when you fear the least. How do you want to live?
If you are in the group where you have lost your job, your family is in danger of losing their home and you need to find "something" to get by and at least be able to feed them all. You know for your skills and what your salary requirements, it will take longer than you can possibly afford. You know that you are going to have to take on some new "quick work" in order to keep your family safe and fed. You have no idea you will make it through the rest of it. You need to find yourself whatever is going to suffice for now. Get yourself that low paying job at McDonalds if you have to. Get yourself something so you have some income. I know it’s not going to be fun but this is where you start.
You need to learn to ask for help. Your family and your friends can help you look for jobs. I have friends who are always sending me ads from Monster.com or something that would be right up my alley. Create a group of people who are willing to help YOU in a time of need as you would do for them. If you need to take on two to three jobs to keep your head above water you are probably not going to have time to do it all by yourself.
Now here is where the fear kicks in. You find a somewhat O.K. job out there but its still not what you want to do or what you were doing in your last job that let you go. Do you take the risk and go out and get the better paying job or the one with a little more risk involved if that’s what you really want to do? DAMN RIGHT YOU DO! Don't fear the "what if's". You need for your life to meet your needs. If you don't you are going to be that 22 year old kid who kept looking behind him every five steps waiting for someone to whack him.
Look, I am not telling you to take stupid risks here by throwing yourself into harms way purposely! But risk is a critical and essential part of life. Going the safe route isn't what you really want to do and you don't want to look back in 20 years with a "What If" or a "I wish I tried.....” Make life gratifying for you and you alone and you know you can make it gratifying for others.
So pull up your bootstraps, find your value and make this life yours to live!
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