The Power of Selfishness

A little while back I was having a conversation with a friend of mine who was practically begging me for help. Then, just about in the same sentence, told me that my advice was horrible! Since I always say "Do what is best for you and no one else". This is true; I do say that to many people who come to me with external problems that were brought upon by themselves.

"You cannot expect anyone to come by on a white horse, sweep you off your feet and solve all of your problems for you!"
-me

This may come off a bit harsh and you should know by now that there are many circumstances in your life that are completely out of your control. However, it is your responsibility to deal with those problems properly. Your reactions are critical in dealing with the unexpected speed bumps that are in your life. But I digress.... I am straying off topic.


Remember when you were a teenager and your buddies got their hands on a bottle of booze? You are nervous because you know your not supposed to drink and they are all egging you on to take just a little sip. Next thing you know you’re puking your brains out and your parents are not very happy with you. You knew you shouldn't have done it! You knew you were going to be grounded for a week once they caught you! You did it anyway. You wanted to fit in. This is where selfishness comes into play. I'm not talking about stealing lollypops from babies or anything, I am talking about positive selfishness. Once you have mastered the art of how to be selfish in the right ways you can accomplish many things.


You need to learn what is best for you and your situation. If you don't know what is best for you by now, you probably shouldn't be reading this. This is such an essential part of life that you cannot ignore it. Your life, sanity, self-respect, personal image and goals depend on it.


Learn to step back from a situation and determine what is best for you. Sacrifices will have to be made from time to time but your values need to firm. We as people continue to get stuck in these traps because we want usually want something out of these situations that we stick ourselves in. See where negative selfishness comes in here?


You may want to fit in so you are going to follow the pack and do something stupid, off the cuff or just not anything that you are really into. You may not want to let someone down, so you go out to the bar the night before a big meeting at work. You may want to fill an empty hole that is in your own life so you meet some random guy/girl out at night sleep with them so you can remind yourself that you are still desirable. You may think it’s too late to change your mind.


You need to take a few steps back in these situations and not let yourself get caught up in the riptide. Being selfish is not always about greed. It's not about the brat of the group who always says "if we are not going to this place, I'm not coming". This is not about taking things to far where you turn people off. It's all about making sure you are taking care of you first. Once you learn how to master the art of positive selfishness, people will observe you differently. They will see you more as a leader than a follower. They will know you are not one who just goes with the crowd. They will see you as an individual.


No one out there is going to carry the torch for you. That is your job. You carry your own torch and if you carry it high enough, people will notice.


Hold your head up high. Stay positive. Stay determined. Stay focused. Prosper.

Combating Laziness

Have you ever thought to yourself before ,"I am just such a lazy, worthless, slacker"? Do you have trouble just getting your motivated enough to jump off of the couch to actually do something you want to do? Or try something new? Or just make some minor changes in your life? Well read on because here are a few quick tips on how to defeat your inner-slacker with a beat down it will not soon forget!

First of all, laziness is a cancer. Nothing will ever change in your life as long as you do nothing about it. Me, I used to be a slacker by heart. I was a lazy, worthless, slacker. I know this. I realize that this is part of who I was and had to fight my "do nothing" attitude every step of the way on my path to greatness (Well not great, just pretty cool, ya know?). The thing that people need to figure out is that they need to sacrifice certain things in their lives in order to make a change.

What holds you back from getting things done? Do you sit on your computer for hours on end playing World of Warcraft, browse MySpace looking profiles until bed or surf Match.com to meet the special someone whom you haven't even tried to e-mail yet? Do you sit on your couch when you get home and watch T.V., order a pizza and fall asleep?

For me, I am a computer geek (I'm sure you guys figured that one already). I can literally waste an entire day at my computer without doing one productive thing on it but I can at least tell you what the newest gadgets that are coming out and tell you absolutely everything that is going on in the world. But you know, thats not going to get me anywhere in life.

You will probably not like my answer to this very important question on how to beat laziness. You simply need to get off ass and start doing things. Now the big question is how?

First of all, you need to identify the things that you want to change in your life. Is your house a mess? Ugly furniture, disorganized to the point where you can't even find your bed? Do you want to get a better job? What do you want to do? Identifying what you really want is essential to defeating your lazy/slacker dark side.

So lets start on your home:

Your house pretty much needs a new .....everything..... so how can you change this huge overwhelming problem to suit your needs and ability? You need to break these things down so you are able to deal with them all one piece at a time. Start will your bathroom for instance. You need a new sink, toilet, floor and furnishings.
PLAN:

• How much is this going to cost?
• itemize the cost of everything including your time

• How much time is this going to take to prepare and complete
• You need to figure out, first the things you need and then actually get them before you do a single thing. You can't start a project until you have all of your tools.

• You need to figure out how much time this is going to take you
• This is extremely important because you want to have a completion date on this project.

SCHEDULE:

• You need to make time everyday for you to work on your project! If you don't make time for you to do this, you will not do a single thing. You need to figure out when you can afford all the materials for your project. Start buying one thing at a time as much as you can afford. If you don't do this, you are not committing yourself to this project.
• Now that you have purchased all of your materials you need to get out your handy calendar and task list and start figuring out how much time you can dedicate to this project every day. Don't have one? Get one! It is essential for you to remember what the hell you are doing and when its going to be done!
• You need to make time for this and the only way to do that is to make sure that you spend a certain amount of time on this project everyday. DO NOT over commit yourself! Don't say "Okay, well I'm going to spend 4 hours on this project every night and negate my health, safety and sleep to complete this". Setup your MINIMUM requirements on what you need to do to complete this project on time. Say you figure that it will take you two months if you work on this project 30 minutes per day. Now you have only committed 1/2 an hour out of your day to work on this so you are not overwhelmed. If you go over that everyday, fine! Great! That means if something unforeseen hits you across the face, you can still be ahead of the game.

DO IT!:

• So much easier said than done I know. But you are trying to create habits and defeat your inner-slacker. Stay focused. Stay moving. When you get home from work you should make sure this is one of the first things you do! If you sit down and watch your favorite program "Ellen!" you will not want to get up again. You need to keep yourself in step with the process of making yourself more productive. You keep moving and you will more than likely be able to stay moving. You start slacking off and you will more than likely be slacking off by the time you need to sleep.

Good luck, this is a huge change. It is hard to defeat your body and minds desire for the simple pleasures of life, like Oprah and bonbons. But when you start pushing yourself to complete tasks and you pick them apart logically and one by one, you will be make steady strides to a better, happier and more fulfilling life!

How to do something for yourself

People like to wait for things to happen for them. Not realizing that life doesn't just hand things out for you! No matter what you want in life, you are going to have to put yourself out there and work for it. Sound simple enough? What do you want and what have you done to get it?

Take a look at relationships for instance. So you are lonely and want to meet someone new and possibly engage in all the fun hand holding and ankle gazing that all you kids are into these days. So what have you done to have this happen? Do you go out to bars in hopes of meeting Mr. or Mrs. Right? ....now I'm sure that anyone you have met at a bar is just top notch and someone you are ready to bring home to mom and dad. So you keep doing this over and over again expecting a different result. This is the definition of insanity. Doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. To all of you people who are living this, go out and find new activities. Start going to the gym. Maybe find a book club (yes, I am serious). Maybe join a co-ed team sport. It really doesn't matter what it is but you need to get yourself out there to meet new people, different people and people who are actually sober enough to have a conversation with. Get out there and do something you will find interesting. You will meet more people than you imagined. Thats a much better approach than going to the bar and asking the nearest dame "Hey baby, how you doin'?".

Starting your own business is the same thing really. You go to your job you go home and you following your old routine. Well, have you read any books on starting your business? Have you made any plans other than "Step 1) Start company, Step 2 .... , Step 3 Make millions!"?

You need to look into what your interests are and try and integrate them into what you want to do. The best way to figure this out is research your interests. Find out as much as you can about the stuff you like. Is there something that you could improve upon in the toilet bowl cleaning business? Well if that is your.....um.....hobby find a way to make it happen!

You just need to know how to pick yourself up by the bootstraps and start working on something for a change. Don't let youself get overwhelmed and have that eat away at you. You can do this, just maintain focus, set your goals and make it happen!